Writing Snippets



He said he would love me forever.

His forever

was shorter

than mine.




Before I go on a blind date, I eat two chewable Pepto-Bismol tablets. The chemical, bismuth, in Pepto-Bismol makes a person’s tongue black. At the end of the evening, if I don’t want to kiss the guy, I yawn widely, making sure he can see my tongue. Once he’s seen my tongue, there’s not a snowball’s chance in hell he’ll try to kiss me. If I do like the guy, I simply keep my mouth shut. Trust me, girls, this works.




He always kept his feet

firmly on the ground.

I had the tendency

to fly

too high.


I married him,


he would help me

keep my feet

on the ground.


Then one day,

he left.


With my wings no longer

bound to my sides,

I flew very, very high.

It was



I was surprised to find

that as high as I flew,

I had never been

in any actual danger.




He boasted to her

that he pulled in a

six-figure salary.


She asked him

if that included

the decimal point.




He stopped loving me

in the thick of my

loving him.


He was finished,

but I was not.


I felt like I had been stopped

in the middle of an orgasm.



The Pyramid

My beliefs were neatly stacked in the shape of a pyramid. This was my belief system. The most basic, truest beliefs were the bottom stones of the pyramid. These stones were big. They were solid. They were the foundation of everything I knew to be true. These beliefs consisted of: “God is good,” “The world is round,” and “Love is never-ending.”


The secondary stones were one level up. They were less important beliefs, but also true. These beliefs included: I am a secretary. I don’t jog. I like birds, but I’d never own one, because they’re messy.


The stones on the next level up were small and could be changed or eliminated entirely without affecting the foundation of “the belief system.” These smaller beliefs were: My favorite color is blue. My hair is brown. I use Maybelline makeup.


When he left, telling me he didn’t love me anymore, one of the foundation stones, “love is never-ending,” was pulled out. It was a big stone. With one of the primary stones gone, all the other stones came tumbling down. All my beliefs lay piled in a disheveled heap. My pyramid had crumbled. I had crumbled.


The remaining foundation stones needed to be reassessed to see if they too were lies. I didn’t know what to believe. I didn’t know what was true anymore. I asked myself if indeed God was good, and if the world was really round.


Time passed and wounds began to heal. After careful and hysterical consideration, I accepted that God was good and the world was probably round. I began to rebuild. I changed my favorite color to purple, opened an advertising agency, started jogging, died my hair red, bought a parrot, and began to wear Christian Dior makeup. This did not happen overnight. But it did happen.


Since then, I have added a new foundation stone. I now believe we get stuck in our belief systems. And God brings us chaos, and sometimes pain, offering us the opportunity to realign ourselves, to reinvent ourselves into a brighter, newer, fresher version of who we are, sloughing off crusty old dreams and weary perceptions.


Oh, and I still believe love is never-ending. But it’s my loving, not necessarily theirs.

Joe O'Hehir Design